Extremes Are Stupid and So are We – Brian Brewington

I could not be any less intrigued by what’s trending. I give zero fucks about your hot take, hot topic — or hot anything. Hot comes and goes. It cools off. Everything and everyone becomes cold, old and washed up, sooner or later.

It is my belief, that if you give Kanye West $300 for a pair of sneakers but don’t have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of, you are an asshole.

Sorry, I’m not sorry for the extreme language. It’s every bit of necessary.

You care too much about what others think. You don’t believe you’re interesting enough on your own merit. Fabric and lace will never change that skewed perspective of yours over the long term. It’s a quick fix. Band-aid on a bullet wound. In two weeks you’ll wish you could turn those overpriced pieces of cloth into a tourniquet to stop the bleeding that is your lack of an interesting personality.

Meanwhile, Kanye West will be on his way to the bank, combating fits of laughter, with a dumb red hat on.

I don’t mean to be mean, only to overstate how little I care about high fashion.

We’re a nation and people of extremes. It seems to be the only language we’re all fluent in. We’re extremely fragile, extremely one side or the other and extremely foolish. We (or at least someone) elected Donald Trump to lead us. People in this very country I reside in, still back and support him despite the fact just the other day, he declared himself both a God and The King of Israel.

We would have put Jimmy Carter in an old folks home or insane asylum for saying some shit like that.

We would have tried to burn Barack Obama at the stake for making such an outlandishly bizarre statement. But with this guy, we Retweet it and quote it with an eye roll emoji. We expect it and are numb to it. We laugh at how unfunny it is. Here’s an unpopular opinion — America got the goddamn president it deserved — and I don’t mean that in a good way.

We wanted extreme — and that’s what the Gods gave us. Or the electoral college gave us, at least. Sure as shit wasn’t the popular vote or an uncorrupted, fair and nimble election that did so. I blame the extremes.

We deserved Donald Trump for every black and brown kid we let a cop kill without flinching in the ’60s, ’70s, ’80s, ’90s and beyond.

We deserved Donald Trump, for watching his stupid fucking television show. and for even making reality television a thing, to begin with.

He’s not a politician, is what they said. He’ll shake things up is what they told us. The same people who thought or think those things to be true, presumably took Lil’ Wayne’s album title I Am Not a Human Being literally.

They must be the ones who bought his rock album too — because certain things just take a special kind of stupid. A very extreme kind, that’s become extremely common in this country and elsewhere.

We keep trying to buy overpriced dreams of grandeur with Prussian Francs and get extremely upset when we’re turned away. Not even dream sellers want those. They’re as useless as our president and Kanye’s hat.

Remember when extreme sports were the up and coming thing? Yeah, me neither. The X-games died when Tony Hawk traded in his skateboard for a billion-dollar video game empire and a keyboard so he could start writing here on Medium. Or maybe he still skates, I don’t know, I’m extremely uninformed and hate research with a passion.

Part of me misses the days of the mundane and boring. The days when I didn’t have to Google “Did Trump really say he was a God and King of Israel?” before I published posts.

And don’t worry, he didn’t — he just quoted a conspiracy theorist who allegedly did. His supporters were right though, he’s not a politician — most politicians are at least formally informed on the nuances of The Constitution. And he’s certainly shaken things up in this Country, like the possibility of Nuclear or Civil war, for starters.

I guess I just miss the days when we were singing I Go To Extremes — instead of actually trying to go to them on a regular and daily basis.

Can someone turn the extreme down, just a notch or ask Alexa to? Is there an app for that? I don’t know, but this post is extremely longer than I intended it to be and I got twelve mild wings I have to go pick up at a nearby pizza shop.

You get no extreme ending or conclusion from me. Just this one.

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