The Most Politically Correct Holiday Poem Ever – laurie rosenwald, a.k.a. jolie-laide balloon

Dreydl, dreydl dreydl

I made it out of clay.

Joyful Christmakwanzukkah

We make up today.


though in the Spring,

Let us please include

But- no pictures!

That would be

Positively rude.

Be black and proud,

And say it loud

from every mosque and steeple.

All the colors Celebrate

the Opiate of the People!

For Diasporic Africans, for

Spiritists and Sikhs,

Holidays and Holy Days

Prevail the coming weeks.

Three Kings Day,


Yule, sure…

Mawlid al-Nabi,

Our Lady of Guadalupe,​

Juárez, and Abu Dhabi…

For Atheists, Agnostic ones,

For Godless Techno Geeks,

For Hellenic Polytheists

(a.k.a. Ancient Greeks)

Bronx and Brooklyn, Bogotá,

Queens and Island Staten,

Moscow, Cuzco, Beijing, Nome,

Uptown or Down Manhattan

Hanukkah, and Bodhi Day,

Chinese New Year, Christmas.

Ashura! Yalda! Hallelu-

jah for…whatever this is.

Reindeer, Moose,

or Protestant,

Muslim, Buddhist, Jew.

Shinto, Cao Dai, Tenrikyo,

Juche, Jain, Hindu.

Nicaragua Celebrates

– and this without exception-

December 8th, The Feast of The

Immaculate Conception.

Korea, Spain,

The Philippines,

East Timor and Peru,



Águeda to Viseu,

Some Cantons in Switzerland,

Catholics can agree,

Virgin Mary has her Day,

Proclaims The Holy See.

Andorra, Chile, Austria,

Uru and Paru-guay

Popes and Pontiffs wouldn’t

have it any other way.

Zartosht no-diso is the date

Zoroastrians remember,

The Khorshed of the month of Dae

-or 26th December.

Lutheran or arsonist,

Stockholm’s brilliant prayer,

Saint Lucia’s all lit up,

Real Candles in her hair.

Noble Multi Millionaires,

Now’s your time to Shine!

Secular’s spectacular,

and Presents are Divine!

Saturnalians ridicule

Sacred Glorification.

We notice, though,

they don’t refuse

a paid Christmas Vacation.

Sviata Vechera



Let’s Toast! Let’s Feast!

Let’s Dance and Sing!

Revel! Shout! Make Whoopee!

So Come, Let us Adore Him!

Human beings gather.

…Or maybe not-

Feel free, my friends,

to abstain, if you’d rather.

_Laurie Rosenwald 2019

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